Day 18 of Daily Footprint Project. It’s been sitting by the fireplace. Daring me with its unopened carton. Must have been a week already.
Our new Feelgood composter. Prad ordered it. ‘Now you put it together.’ Of course, I have got a good excuse. I had gum surgery on Monday, and I have been feeling lousy. The few days before that, I was too busy, and the composter did not even make it once on my daily to do list. Plus, shouldn’t Prad take care of it anyway? I thought he would be the one in charge, in the composting department. He usually likes that kind of stuff. I know what he is thinking. ‘It’s about time you walk your talk. I have done enough as it is. Let’s see if you come through here.’ I am being tested on the authenticity of my declared green-ness.
The truth is, I love blogging about green psychology and green living. It comes easy to me. And I am seduced by the idea of composting, of returning what comes from the earth, back to the earth. It feels so right, poetic almost. Taking the box outside, unpacking the composter, assembling it, now, that’s another story. I can always find something better to do. Why is it so difficult for me to translate my intention into action?
I am happy with my life the way it is right now. The prospect of the satisfaction from composting does not outweigh the inconvenience of having to put it together. If someone else did it for me, I would use it, as long as it does not require too much extra effort. I think of all the greenies who are going to read this, and I anticipate their judgment. If it was not for the blog, I would definitely keep all this business to myself. I feel ashamed. No, I need to remember, the main thing is to be honest.
Let me take on my marketing hat for a second. What I am voicing is a very real pain. I want to be green, but I need some help. Will someone, please, make green easy on me? Set things up for me, hold my hand as I undertake the heroic task of greening my life.
Daily Footprint Project Daily Log Day #18 Water personal: flush toilet 3 wash face 2 brush teeth 2 wash hands 4 shower 1 mom: rinse dishes communal: run full load dishwasher Electricity/gas personal: electric toothbrush 2 microwave tea 2’ microwave oatmeal 4’ microwave milk 2’ laptop on all day mom: heat cream of wheat microwave half potato broil steak fry bokchoy communal: lights Food personal: oatmeal with organic milk organic oranges tea organic milk organic chocolate organic raspberries mom: cream of wheat with organic milk organic raspberries organic buffalo steak organic half potato organic baby bokchoy communal: dinner out Waste personal: toilet paper raspberries plastic box mom: most of cream of wheat (leftover from breakfast) paper wrapper for steak communal: 3 newspaper plastic wrappers rotten sweet potato old half potato Recycling personal: mom: communal: 2 papers plastic milk bottle Transportation personal: mom: communal: drive to electronics store 2 miles drive to restaurant 4 miles Non food shopping personal: mom: phone for Little Sister’s family communal:
La Marguerite 
This is a wonderful post and I commend you. Let me share my wormery worry. I bought it last winter and took weeks to assemble it and buy the worms at the farmer’s market (across the street every Sunday). But, as with your situation today, a minimal effort got me over the inertia.
Throughout the spring and summer I ‘fed’ the wormery my scraps, occasionally sprinkled some water and added fresh newprint. This was/is a whole new experience. Mid-summer I realized there were gallons of worm pee (whatever) in the bottom reservoir that I had to drain off and feed to my garden and to plants. I also added another layer to the wormery.
This fall, following the autumnal equinox (I love marking the year with these planetary dates) in September I looked at the mid level and it was a solid mass of worm poo. After trying to pull out a bunch of worms from this solid mass and placing them in the top level (to keep doing what they do), I dumped the entire block ‘o poo onto my vegetable garden.
My garden is a small raised bed I built last year from scrap wood of a demolished pergola. The soil was free and pretty lousy, so this worm poo should help ammend it. I covered the worm treasure with garden leftovers aka brown compost. Then my story takes a turn.
The Santa Ana dry winds and wildfires came to Southern California. Although I didn’t have to evacuate, it was frightening and I also went through a real pit of ennui. I ate chips and crap instead of real food for weeks. Hence I had nothing to feed the worms. I started becoming afraid to even check on the few remaining worms. Guilty.
Several days ago I peeked and saw a pile of mold and decay. This tells me the worms have died. So I need to attend to the mess and bury this decay and clean the wormery. Then I must buy new worms in their clean coconut vegetation bedding. And, finally I need to start eating properly again. I live alone so I alone am to blame and only have myself to climb out of this apathy.
The ennui, the inertia for me is related to the sorry state of our country and it feeds my despondency. But, slowly I arise. I complimented your post of a momentary whine and added my weeks long nutritional failure and wormery disaster to let readers know they may not be alone in feeling a green, conscious life is daunting. But, alas we do keep moving and encouraging each other. Thanks for all of your great posts.
Thank you Kate for a very moving story. I am very touched. And I hope you move out of your apathy soon. Jane, another reader of this blog wrote a very inspiring comment on the previous post. You may feel inspired to start moving again, after you read it. And I agree, it is not easy being conscious!
Worm composting is a lot of fun, actually. I initially made my own bin. I bought 2,000 worms (2lbs) on eBay – much cheaper than through the commercial people. That bin got a little unmanageable – why – because it was really difficult to harvest the goods.
I recently bought a new stacked tray system and its great! I keep it in the basement – I can’t smell a thing. It has a spiggot on it to collect the worm tea to put on houseplants or the garden.
Worms aren’t creepy – they’re fun. I don’t have an outdoor bin like the one you pictured – I just have a pile. When I don’t feed the worms my scraps, I bury them in the pile. I would like to get a rotating compost bin at some point.
Here’s my post on worm composting from not to long ago:
http://www.screamtobegreen.com/2007/11/i-heart-worm-poop/
-Jason
http://www.screamtobegreen.com