A trip to the neighbors across the street is almost always a culture shock. A peak into the reality of American culture and its excesses. This time, was Russell’s one year birthday party. You could tell from the street, by the balloons and the SUV’s parked in front. To get to it, we had to make our way through the house, and all the plastic toys, strewn all over the floor. I did not remember children needing so many things to play with. More was in the wing. It was impossible to ignore the mountain of presents waiting in the corner of the living room. We found the crowd, outside, celebrating, with enough food to feed an entire block, and disposable plates and plastic cups, of course. Kids and adults kept coming in and out of the obligatory bounce house. I asked Prad what kept the thing inflated. He assured me it only took minimal energy. Plus everybody seemed to enjoy the jumping so much. Little Russell, oblivious to the occasion and a big smile on his face, was cruising around, playing with a plastic straw and picking at the grass. Life seemed so easy, and happy, and abundant. I should have been rejoicing.
Instead I felt unease. Displayed in front of me, was a graphic manifestation of unconsciousness, that did not sit well with my green conscience. Prad accused me of being a party spoiler. ‘You are going overboard now. You can’t stop people. They are celebrating the happy event with their community.’ I could not disagree with the community part. It was the ‘how’ that bothered me. Before the dawn of plastic, what did people do? I asked. Wasn’t the party for Russell anyway? The contrast between Russell’s happiness with so little, and the amount of stuff that seemed necessary for everybody else to have a good time, seemed so obvious to me.
Last week, Andrew Revkin asked the DotEarth readers to ‘Imagine Everyone Was Equal In Emissions‘. What would it mean, knowing that currently the average American is producing about fifteen times as much as a person from India or Africa? It means Russell’s parents would have to live a very different life. No brand new toys, or at least not so many. No SUV. No flat screen TV running while nobody is watching. No disposable plates. Less food. Less meat. It means adopting Kyle’s ‘One Tonne Carbon Lifestyle‘, recognizing that there are indeed limits to what we can do and consume. And that such a change is not the end of the world, but instead the beginning of a new, more conscious way of living.
Twice a week now, I commute to San Francisco for a consulting assignment. Instead of driving, I take the train. Altogether, I get in my one hour of exercise, walking to and from the train station, and two hours of work in the train. Carbon emissions: minimal. Personal efficiency: maximal. This is what Kyle’s One Tonne Carbon Lifestyle is about. Can you think of one way that you can change your life that is all benefit to you, and to your environment?
La Marguerite 
Happiness R Us
Most likely, the child could have been just as happy with some sticks, a tree, some good mud, and a few friends, along with parental love and attention, of course.
Humans, and the human quest for happiness, are interesting. A lot of the matter has to do with our social nature. We seek (often unconsciously) some sense of respect and status. We compare. A big part of the reason that many parents need, or think they need, all the stuff for their kids is that their neighbors have lots of stuff for their children, and comparisons are made. And, kids see stuff on TV. And, of course, many companies do things that exacerbate the problem. They want us to feel that we need the stuff to be whole and happy. Happiness is just one more “thing” away, they want us to believe.
Scientists have had a basic, directional understanding of many of these dynamics for awhile. It’s not really rocket science, of course. The problem is that not enough people seem aware of the understanding or willing to act on that understanding.
Three great (and very accessible, engaging, and often fun) books are:
“Happiness: Lessons From A New Science”, by (Sir) Richard Layard.
“Stumbling on Happiness”, by Harvard Psychologist Daniel Gilbert.
“The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness”, by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D.
I’d enthusiastically recommend all three to anyone who wants to gain a much better understanding of happiness and parenting.
And finally, if I were a neighbor, and if I invited you and Prad over for a party, I’d want to get a signed statement that you would not blog about my party, at least not without my editorial guidance, my final approval, and a good bottle of wine.
As usual, great post Marguerite.
Yes, Jeff I agree we, as a culture have gotten into this consumerist rut. There are many forces at play, and that is what makes it seem so daunting. What we need is a paradigm shift to a post-industrialized society. Community, relatedness, experiences, love, respect, nature, curiosity, concern, joy, simplicity, sharing, are some of the words that come to mind.
welcome to my world! i empathize completely:
as a lifelong observer of human nature and its estrangement from nature itself; i ache for your new eyes.
i just read a post on ENN environmental news today that moms are the source of social change and promoters of eco-consciousness. of course, they have not been to a birthday party lately.
husbands, men, support the mommies in your life, to ensure they feel secure enough to instill love of life and nature in their children, you can’t buy that at Wal- Mart!
you, once again have galvanized us to respond to the challenge of finding the most effective way to reverse over a century of escalating environmental damage.
as a convert to minimal consumerism, you have fresh enthusiasm, and the knowledge to direct efforts in the policy sector. your blog is a beacon shining upon areas of need. readers take heed.
Thanks for empathizing, Nadine. The key as I see it here, is to remember what it was like before, when I did not the meaning of carbon footprint and could care less about the environment. One of my interests is in creating a bridge to reach the consumerist majority.
I would emphasise that this One Tonne Carbon Lifestyle – which I should have called One Tonne CO2, since that’s what it is, a tonne of carbon would be 3.67t CO2 – is not “Kyle’s” but “Kyle’s goal“. My forecast for our years is for our household emissions (with 2 people half the year, and 3 people the other half) to be about 10,930kg CO2e. That works out to 4,400kg per person, which is 36% the Western average, and 117% the world average – most importantly, 440% of the one-tonne goal.
I should note that 5,000kg of the total is two round plane trips for one member of the household – one from Melbourne to Adelaide, and one from Melbourne to Tokyo. I won’t be on those aircraft. Without those trips, we’d be at Western 20% / World 63% / 1t Goal 237%. While I give strong and forceful advice online, that’s because if people come to my blog or allow comments on their blog they obviously want to hear what I think – they’re asking for it. Spouses and other people I know perhaps do not ask for it, so I don’t harangue them.
The closest I came to that sort of preaching was when I was asked why we’d changed to more expensive wind power, I replied, “we have to, to make up for your plane trips.” Of course it doesn’t, reducing our electricity emissions by just 2.8 tonnes annually, but still… It did end the discussion 🙂
Oh, and I was going to say that I don’t object to bouncy castles for a big party for carbon reasons, but for social reasons.
All those stupid plastic toys I object to because children don’t have to use their imaginations and develop their intellectual and physical skills with them. But a bouncy castle for a few dozen kids is fine in that respect. Yes, it has lots of emissions, but so does a bus – and in both cases they’re spread amongst many people, so on a per person basis they’re not much.
That does not mean I think it’s the best form of entertainment for kids, or something every family should do. After all, if nothing else it leads to that consumerist oneupmanship you get with many people. “Well, the Jones had a bouncy castle, what will we do for little Johnny’s birthday?” And that gets expensive quickly, and reinforces the consumerist mindset which is ultimately responsible for so much of our emissions.
I think it’s more appropriate to have that sort of thing in a public space, like a school fair. Having something which is expensive and has high total emissions, but low individual emissions, that’s good for a public space because it encourages sharing, and thinking of big projects as being public things, and so on. Whereas having it privately in someone’s yard is much more negative in the long-term.
But on its own, just thinking of the emissions, with a few dozen kids bouncing around and enjoying themselves, I can’t object to it.
Also, the other reason I don’t preach is this:- http://www.transmission-x.com/luz/2008/01/07/luz-episode-12/
Thanks Kyle. I loved the Luz cartoon!
And I agree with you about preaching. I have always hated preachers of all sorts. Instead I believe in the power of example, and providing solutions – as in policy and infrastructure -, and mass communication as in advertising.
Emperor in the China Shop
With all due respect (and apologies) to Hans Christian Andersen and to bulls everywhere …
When an Emperor With No Clothes starts behaving like a Bull in a China Shop, as they say, something’s gotta give.
It’s one thing when that conspicuously underclad commandeer is reasonably nice and respectful to common folk, the atmospheric commons, and the common good. In that case, he—it’s usually a he—can exercise his better qualities, despite his garment-challenged situation. But, when he starts shattering Lladroes, not to mention upsetting atmospheres!, it’s time to say “hey!”
As productive as markets often are, a largely unregulated free marketplace, left to itself, cannot be expected to address the global warming problem without, at a minimum, attaching a “price” to greenhouse gas emissions and without a few other well-placed kicks in the butt (please excuse the technical jargon).
I’m sorry to mention the unmentionable. Now, excuse me while I put my helmet on.
Jeff, like you, and I guess Kyle and Nadine also, I feeling a healthy dose of frustration with the status quo. Frustration as in precursor to action. The trick is to act smartly.
More reflection needed! Jeff, I will spend some time on your ‘warming’ segmentation study.
Welcome to my world, Marguerite! So far we have avoided the bouncy castles and appear to others to be positively “retro” because we generally have simple parties at home (once we went to the local fire station).
Birthday parties are over the top these days. I’m surprised you didn’t mention the ubiquitous “goody bag” full of Cheap Plastic Crap (which I’ve blogged about, by the way!) . I bet next year little Russell’s parents will have those too. Imagine going to about 20 of these parties a year…I feel like a grinch. You and I would be good company at one of these extravaganzas.
Lynn
http://www.organicmania.com
Two Green Grinches on a Mission, that’s us . . .
I did not mention the goodie bags, because I did not stay very long. I missed that part . . .
My fiance and I are trying to do more than one thing but the first thing I did was buy a hybrid. When I bought I didn’t live in a city that had any form of public transportation and I knew I was moving to a city that didn’t so unfortunately that was not an option and I thought a hybrid was an acceptable compromise. But when I moved I ended up living less than 5 miles from my office and I’ve finally gotten off my butt and bought a bike. I should be able to pick it up on Monday from being tuned and I’m actually really excited. I lived in Boston for four years and loved having public transportation and being able to walk to just about anything. It wasn’t until I thought back that I realized while living there I was walking 5-10 miles a day and never thought twice about it in fact I really enjoyed walking. Since that isn’t an option here I’ll “settle” for the bike.
http://badhuman.wordpress.com
You may enjoy reading my stories about ‘Pervenche’, the used bike I purchased a few months ago . . . Type Pervenche in Search, and the articles should come up. Are you planning on having a name for your bike? 🙂
[…] 22, 2008 by lamarguerite Yesterday, I wrote with a sense of urgency, about the need for Americans to start questioning their […]
What is sad is that even if you are trying to consume less and be responsible, well meaning friends and family will quickly fill your kid’s life with all those plastic toys.
Massive plastic, things that horrify you; things that he doesn’t need (he could have used the slide at the playground down the street!). But if they had to do it they could have found a wooden easel, a little metal or wooden picnic table. And then you are stuck with a house and yard full of crap that he quickly outgrows and you don’t want to landfill it so you have to be responsible for finding new homes for them…
…Oh, did I rant? Sorry. I clearly have to learn to tell these people how I feel, and to please not feel that every gift has to be a grand gesture.
You are absolutely right. It is not just us the individual. It is a whole system that conspires to make a simpler life difficult to achieve. This is especially true as a parent.
Interesting post and comments. You know, I have lived outside the USA for 16 years, in Japan and Taiwan, and even in Japan, and especially now here in Taiwan, I see children outside on sunny (and even rainy) days playing with such simple things as a brown paper supermarket bag tied with a string and trying to pull along on the street and make it fly like a kite. And playing baseball with sticks and branches from a nearby tree and a sock rolled up as the baseball.
I will say no more.